In September of 2018 I remember sitting down and watching the Women’s final of the US Open between Serena Williams and Naomi Osaka. There was a lot of excitement around Williams potentially winning her 24th Grand Slam tournament, her first since becoming a mother. Her 23rd title came in Australia the year before when unknown to the world, she was pregnant during the tournament. Serena Williams is extraordinary in many ways and I am a huge fan. I tuned in that September afternoon like most people because I was excited to see her win, and after watching the documentary ”Being Serena“, the mental and physical struggles she went through as a new mother, I thought this final would be the crowning glory of an incredible athlete. As a casual fan of tennis I wasn’t aware of Naomi Osaka other than her name popping up as she progressed to this her first Grand Slam final. The stage was set, Flushing Meadow, New York, the crowd as one, rooting for Serena. As the match went on, Williams became frustrated, Osaka wasn’t just there to admire her hero, she was there to win and at various points in the match Williams was warned by the umpire for communicating and accepting instructions from her coach in the stand. Williams denied this was happening and accused the umpire of sexism. She made quite a scene and it clearly affected her game and her mood. What happened next is now cited by Osaka as the beginning of several bouts of depression and anxiety for her which this week made worldwide news. Osaka won the match, the crowd were upset and cruelly booed her during the trophy presentation. It wasn’t her fault she won but the rowdy and somewhat classless crowd were there to see Williams triumph. The on-court interviewer even went as far as saying live on air in front of both players, “perhaps not the outcome we were hoping for”.
Osaka cried, at her own coronation. The biggest and best moment of her young life, taken away by boos from the crowd and thousands of people angry that the other girl didn’t win. It was an ugly moment and one couldn’t help feel extreme sympathy for Osaka and what she was going through in that moment. She looked shy, awkward, sensitive, almost apologetic that she had beaten a legend when what really should have been happening was her soaking in the adulation of the crowd and marking the beginning of an incredible few years and beyond in style. I started to follow Naomi Osaka from that day on. I liked her vulnerability and at the same time her extreme talent. This shy awkward girl became a focused, determined and incredible player on the court. Two years later back at the US Open I watched on TV as she won again, this time she drew a lot of media attention for a different reason. This was the middle of a pandemic, the height of racial tensions in America over police brutality and the deaths of African Americans who became household names overnight. During every round of the 2020 US Open, Osaka entered the court with her Bose headphones on, as many athletes do, looking focused and not willing to let any outside distractions get in the way of her goals. She also wore the names of victims of police brutality or racial violence on her face masks. In the first round it was the name of Breonna Taylor, the second round it was Elijah McClain, the third round Ahmaud Aubery, the fourth round Trayvon Martin, the Quarter Final George Floyd, the Semi Final Philando Castile and for the final she wore the name of Tamir Rice. After her first match she stated she had another six masks and it was a shame seven wasn’t enough names but she hoped to get to the final to show them all.
This is where I noticed the full extent of social media at its best and worst. Osaka is mixed race, she was born in Japan to a Japanese mother and Haitian father and moved to New York when she was three years old. She had recently started to date the up and coming young hip hop artist, Cordae, who if you haven’t listened to, get on it because he’s fantastic. The power of social media allowed an elite athlete to use her considerable platform to bring awareness and advocate for social change. This was an ugly time in America, protests and counter protests were happening all over the country, we were two months away from the ugliest election of all time and four months away from the Capitol being breeched by rioters and people tragically dying defending it. The ugly side of social media was the backlash. “She’s only doing this because she has a black boyfriend, he put her up to it”. “Who does she think she is, creating a divide” “Nobody cares, just shut up and play”. Just some of the typical rhetoric from keyboard warriors, horrified at the thought of a robot athlete having some kind of voice. At one point in the tournament, she was asked by the on-court interviewer, ”what message are you trying to send with these masks?” It was an innocent question, not said with any malice or judgement and the kind of obvious and unoriginal question we have grown used to for so many years across all sports. Osaka snapped back “well what message do you get from it? I think thats a bigger question”. At that moment she went even higher in my estimations. Don’t ask her bull shit questions and expect the same old boring answer, let’s get real, let’s have a conversation. Osaka continued to dominate in all aspects of her life. She won the Australian Open in February of this year, she brought out a fashion line, appeared on the cover of GQ with her boyfriend and in May, right before the start of the French Open in Paris she was named the richest and highest paid female athlete on the planet.
During that triumph at the Australian Open in Melbourne, she gave some hilarious on court interviews, I couldn’t work out if she was intentionally funny or if it was the result of awkwardness but she just seemed so real, no obvious signs of media training which she must have gone through, just a real, sensitive, exposed, human being. It was impossible not to like her although some people perceived it to be “diva” like behavior which tends to happen if people aren’t following the rules, or the accepted norms. But to me she seemed to be growing into her stardom more and more and seemed slightly more comfortable. At least from her social media posts she seemed an unstoppable force, although her “story” clips often show her more vulnerable side. At one point in Melbourne, a butterfly landed on her face between points, captured perfectly by photographers. She did exactly what you’d expect Naomi Osaka to do with a butterfly, she gently guided it to the side of the court rather than swatting it away.
One week ago, in Paris France, the Tennis world geared up for the start of the French Open, a tournament played on a clay surface. That along with Wimbledon - which is played on grass, are the two Grand Slams that can give some “hard court” champions a tricky time. This is the case for Osaka. Her four Grand Slams have come on the hard courts of Melbourne and New York and she has yet to pass the third round of the other two. Her preparation for Paris seemed stressful, an early exit from one clay tournament and a look of desperation and almost resignation on her face. On the eve of Roland Garros, she announced via social media that she had decided not to take part in the customary press conferences in front of the worlds sporting media. She cited the lack of respect that journalists often show players and the tennis organizations insistence on doing interviews (or get fined), ahead of the mental well being of the players. She ended the statement by saying she was prepared to pay the fines but she hoped they would go to a mental health foundation. To me I thought the last line was very telling and very admirable. Without it, the cynic in me would think, well she‘s not great on clay, she knows the scrutiny she’s going to be under if she doesn’t perform well and shes ducking the inevitable questions. But I honestly think she was just trying to raise awareness. She knows she has a platform, she hates doing press, so why not attempt to bring some awareness to mental health and an aspect of sports which is rarely mentioned, boring unnecessary press conferences that most people don’t pay any attention to? Again the backlash was fierce. The headlines predictably were “Osaka ducks media obligations“. The reaction from fellow players surprised me. Almost all of them carefully said they respected her decision BUT (there’s always a but) its part of the job and they all have to do it. There’s certainly an argument here for every player being treated the same and nobody being above the “rules” but a part of me hoped that more players would come out and say, you know what, I agree, I’m not going to do them either. That didn’t happen. The reaction from fans, former players and media was much more negative than positive. The French Open issued a statement on behalf of themselves and the other three Grand Slam tournaments, stating that while they are open to dialogue on ways to help the mental well being of players, she will indeed be fined for every press conference she misses and not only that, she will be subject to possible disqualification from tournaments now and in the future. The French went further and showed their true colors, before deleting it, by tweeting a picture of four players, carefully covering diversity goals of one white, one black, one Asian and one Hispanic with the tag line “they knew their assignments“.
Deplorable.
Later that day Osaka issued the following statement;
Heartbreaking as far as I’m concerned. Proof of how mentally damaging that final against Serena Willams really was. Proof that the shy, awkward interviews and clips were her social anxiety. She didn’t have to lay it all out like that. It shouldn’t have come to that. Some still argue that it’s “part of the job” even though most don‘t watch press conferences and most athletes engagement is through social media anyway. Some argue that the players would not have the level of publicity if it wasn’t for the media. Some argue she’s the richest female athlete in the world, what does she have to complain about? People have it much worse, right?
Mental health is extremely important to me. It’s affected me my whole life but it’s probably only in the last few years that I’ve truly recognized it and attempted to get help and do something about it. Sometimes an event or events in your life force it upon you, to face your demons, to tackle your issues, to seek help, to be better. When I was 18-25 I was just like most young men in a working class British city, I got drunk a lot and I made decisions that weren’t always the best. Amongst my group of friends I developed an alter ego named “The Trevor”. I can’t remember who named him that or why that name but the Trevor, or more simply “The Trev” was the worst side of my personality. The side when the drinking didn’t make me fun and happy, it made me angry and rebellious, moody and difficult. Other friends had similar alter egos but non seemed to get as much attention as mine. It was a running joke for years, sometimes it was funny, sometimes it was lighthearted and most of the time i reveled in the notoriety of the Trev. I enjoyed people asking “is the Trev out tonight?”. “It wasn’t me it was the Trev” became my customary excuse that my friends never tired of hearing. It wasn’t until I grew older and went through life problems that most people go through at some time or another, marriage, jobs, parenting, that I realized the Trevor was a pre cursor for a much darker future. Social anxiety affected me long before I knew what social anxiety was. Often the life and soul of a party, then suddenly withdrawing and being quiet, visibly uncomfortable and wanting to go home. Canceling social get togethers at the last moment even when I was the one to organize it. The dark clouds come and go, the panic attacks are mostly mild but the one of two severe ones I’ve experienced are debilitating. I’ve been off and on Prozac and Xanex for years, currently on, I’ve seen psychiatrists, therapists, anger assessments. It affects those closest to you the most unfortunately. The mood swings, the irritability, we‘ve all been through a lot in the last year and a half but i’ve come to accept its part of me and it’s not going away. It’s managing it that is crucial. Exercise, diet, both of which are hard for me. I found an app called “Sanvello“ which can track your mood, ask you questions that determine where you are on depression scale and an anxiety scale. It offers instant tools to calm you, meditation, soothing sounds, it lets you journal and build a “hope wall” with positive things to look forward to. It holds you accountable and if you use it consistently it works. This isn’t a plug but if anyone reading this is struggling I would highly recommend it.
I’m fortunate to have a lot of love and support around me. I can go months feeling on top of the world, then that cloud rolls in, i don’t know when it‘s coming or how long it will last but all I can do is manage it the best I can. I have the upmost respect for athletes that come back from a dark place and conquer their sport either for the first time or yet again. Tyson Fury, Michael Phelps, there’s too many to mention. The way Olympian Aly Raisman stood up in that courtroom and faced her abuser Larry Nassar, looked him in the eye and cut him to pieces with a speech that moved me. She still struggles, she‘s open about it, she advocates for mental health and every time she speaks she‘s worth listening to.
Naomi Osaka is an icon. She’s a role model to a generation. She will come back from this. She will conquer the world again. Some people won’t like it but she will.
Please take care of yourselves, take time for yourself even in the most hectic of schedules and life. Your mental health is more important than anything. It’s more important than a press conference, a work obligation, even a family get together. Help those around you understand what you are feeling, what you are going through. Speak to someone that can help. Most importantly be kind, it’s a cliche but you really never know what someone else is going through. I’m not an expert but I for one am here to listen any time.